Photo by Janelle Patterson Ethan Meeks holds on to his father, Cory Meeks, as the pair spin at Buckeye Park in Marietta.

MARIETTA — They check the police reports in The Marietta Times every day.

“We highlight the names of everyone we used to know,” explained Cory Meeks, 32, of Marietta. “That’s confirmation to us, knowing our names could be in the paper right alongside our old friends, that we could be in jail with them.”

Meeks’ battle with addiction was featured in the launch of the Times’ “Hooked on Heroin” series in December 2016, at a time when he was seeing better days, clean and sober after fighting addiction for nearly 20 years.

But by the end of the month he relapsed.

“I’ve slipped up a lot since then and made more mistakes,” he said.

Photo by Janelle Patterson Cory Meeks, left, and his fiancee, Alecia Kitts, right, plant a kiss on Meeks’ mother Mary Cantwell while she holds her grandson Ethan Meeks at Buckeye Park in Marietta.

His name appeared in police reports four times in 2017, all with incidents related to his addiction.

“I’m not a thief but I stole, and I was high and lost my temper at my daughter,” said Meeks.

His troubles continued with two totaled cars between Meeks and his fiancee Alecia Kitts, who were both in and out of jail, rehabilitation facilities and outpatient care facilities.

Looking back, 2017 was a rough year.

“You never know when that one person will bring drugs back into his life,” said Mary Cantwell, Meeks’ mother. “I still am afraid every day of that call, of my son dying.”

Photo by Janelle Patterson Ethan Meeks hugs his father Cory Meeks as Cory gets emotional talking about the struggles of addiction.

Meeks’ story — not only of addiction but of stumbling in recovery — is a common one.

According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, stress cues linked to the drug experience such as people, places, things and moods, and exposure to drugs are the most common triggers for relapse.

Overall, 40 to 60 percent of those in treatment are there for drug addiction relapse.

On Friday, Meeks and Kitts were three months clean and sober, and hoping this time it will last, while knowing that recovery is often a rough road.

“The numerous days calling home from jail, the kids seeing the accidents, keeping me awake driving home, God-willing my experience will be enough to keep them from following my path,” Meeks said. “They’re what’s keeping me focused right now, my family, my lady, my mom.”

He takes his days moment by moment.

“I can’t think too much about far ahead, it gives me anxiety,” Meeks explained. “I wake up and am thankful for that day, and take it from there.”

But the demons that lay beneath his addiction aren’t gone.

Meeks began to choke back tears Friday responding to an assessment put out by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention on adverse childhood experiences, which research indicates can mean a higher likelihood of drug abuse, violence and poverty in adulthood.

On nine of the 10 questions Meeks replied in the affirmative, Kitts, said yes to eight.

“Some of those questions just brought it all back, for whatever reason it was a smack in the face,” he said, breathing heavily. “I’m sure I’m not the only one who endured childhood abuse or anything of that nature and I don’t like to (say) ‘poor me.'”

Meeks said he wants his relationship with his 9-year-old son to be different than his own with his biological father.

“I was 8 or 9 and wondered why (he wouldn’t) kick it with me,” he said. “I certainly had an excellent role model as a stepfather, but for whatever reason I refused to accept that … unfortunately I endured some pretty nasty stuff then.”

Kitts recounted similar stories from her childhood of fear, abuse and betrayal that now sober she can’t imagine her four children going through.

Meeks said he still has medication for anxiety, to allow him to sleep and chase away nightmares from his youth, and he’s still scared of relapsing again.

“I’m on suboxone again, eventually I want to bring that down, but the last time I stopped it I went right back to using,” Meeks said. “November I was high on meth and then took a ton of Xanax, like 30 in a day. Another point last year I was high and lost it at a counselor.”

The rollercoaster of 2017 included faking drug tests by buying urine in the parking lot of outpatient clinics in Marietta, from the same dealer handing over the pills.

“It was too easy here, too easy to slip again,” he noted. “Too hard to keep sober knowing across the street from your home they’re dealing meth.”

He said while he’s heard relocation isn’t the solution, it was for him, but his fear is still present knowing his children are around active addiction when they’re out of his care.

“My 12-year-old daughter will call and say her mom’s been in the bathroom for two to three hours and she doesn’t know what’s going on,” Meeks recalled. “She’s sent photos of white residue on the counter … What happens if my son goes to wipe off the counter, rubs his eyes and then he’s got meth in his system?”

Kitts explained that even in November, when the pair decided they needed to try sobriety again, they slipped up.

“And I started to feel like it was all caving in, no one cared about me, no one cared if I died and I attempted suicide,” she said. “You feel like you can’t breathe, like you can’t take it anymore.”

Though it’s not easy, the two credit their current sobriety to the support around them and to the choice to work together.

“I firmly believe that if we didn’t do this together I couldn’t stay clean,” said Kitts. “You can’t be in a relationship with someone still using and expect you’re going to make it.”

Meeks said he is even grateful for the law enforcement officers and corrections officers he’s come in contact with so often.

“I call many of the drug task force by name because I’ve seen them so much, and that’s in one sense nice that I know these are good guys that genuinely care that I get my (act) together, but it’s also shameful that they know me so well,” he said.

Meeks calls Washington County Sheriff’s Lt. Josh Staats “Boss” and said if there’s ever someone that helps him rethink his actions, it’s the lieutenant.

“I’ve seen Cory try to get help I can’t even remember how many times … I met him around 2010,” recalled Staats. “I truly think he has good intentions. I talked to him yesterday or the day before and can tell he’s not using drugs because he’s more coherent. But I hope he’s sincere this time. It may have taken him fighting for his kids to be rock bottom per se.”

Even trying to aid law enforcement has been a slippery slope for Meeks.

“He’ll call with a tip and I tell him if you’re running around with the wrong people again you’ll slip up because of the drugs,” said Staats. “His whole life is a result of being a drug addict and he’ll be the first one to tell you that. It’s always he runs into a former friend, and I won’t hear from him for three to five months and then he’ll get arrested. He’s one of the few people that will admit he’s done wrong. I just truly hope he turns it around for good this time.”

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Where to Get Help

Life and Purpose Behavioral Health

* What: Mental health and addiction outpatient treatment center in Marietta that provides comprehensive, person centered treatment working to empower clients to fully engage in life and achieve a healthy mind and body, commonly called L&P Services

* Where: 207 Colegate Drive, Marietta

* When: Monday from 8 a.m.-7 p.m., Tuesday from 8 a.m.-7 p.m.. Wednesday from 8 a.m.-8 p.m., Thursday from 8 a.m.-5:30 p.m., Friday from 8 a.m.-4 p.m.

* Contact: By phone: 740-376-0930, by email: l-pservices@l-pservices.com

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Choices Counseling Services

* What: Counseling for stress, anxiety, depression, relationship, marriage, family, addiction, grief, obsessive-compulsive disorder and comprehensive mental health

* Where: 260 Sandhill Road, Suite G, Reno

* When: Monday, Tuesday, Thursday from noon to 7 p.m.; Friday from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m.

* Contact: 740-336-1814

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Worthington Center Management Co.

* What: Counseling for stress, anxiety, depression, relationship, marriage, family, grief and comprehensive mental health; diagnostic assessments; medication management

* Where: 2515 Washington Blvd., Belpre

* When: Monday from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m., Tuesday through Thursday from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m.

* Friday: 8 a.m. to noon

* Contact: 740-423-4225

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Marietta Community Based Outpatient V.A. Clinic

* What: Counseling for stress, anxiety, depression, relationship, marriage, family, grief and comprehensive mental health; diagnostic assessments; medication management

* Where: 27843 State Route 7, Reno

* When: Monday through Friday, 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.

* Contact: 740-568-0412

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David Schaffer, MSW

* What: Counseling for stress, anxiety, depression, relationship, marriage, family, addiction, grief and gambling

* Where: 3705 Emerson Ave., Parkersburg

* Contact: 304-865-0272

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Gail Rymer & Associates

* What: Counseling for stress, anxiety, depression, relationship, marriage, family, addiction, grief, gambling and comprehensive mental health

* Where: 1085 Joe Skinner Road, Belpre

* Contact: 740-423-4743

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* Additional resources can be found by contacting the Washington County Behavioral Health Board at 740-374-6990

* Local Crisis Hotline: 740-373-8240.

* National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

* Ohio Crisis TEXT line: Send 4HOPE to 741741

Source: Washington County Behavioral Health Board