Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Sideline Mom With a Heavy Heart” with deep empathy. My husband coached both of our sons, now grown men, in baseball, wrestling and football. While he was not as intense as the father described in that letter, he certainly had his moments.
Early on, I sat him down and said, “No one feels worse about missing a play or losing a match than our son does. From now on, we’re going to use the 48-hour rule. For the first 48 hours after a game or match, the only thing you’re allowed to say is, ‘I love you, and I’m proud of you.’ After those two days, when emotions have calmed and the disappointment has faded, then — and only then — you can talk about the game.”
This approach worked beautifully. Our sons enjoyed playing sports. They went on to become state champions in wrestling and later wrestled in college. Most importantly, they had a positive experience and maintained a close, loving relationship with their father.
A few of my husband’s coaching colleagues adopted the 48-hour rule as well, and they saw great results in their own families. I hope this idea might help “Sideline Mom” and others facing similar challenges. — A Happy Mom of Husband-Coached Sons
Dear Happy Mom: You have certainly learned the power of the pause. Taking a moment to reflect rather than react out of strong emotion is always a valuable practice, especially when it comes to parenting and coaching.
The 48-hour rule you shared is very wise. Giving children time to process their own disappointment before piling on criticism or analysis creates space for growth, resilience and trust. It allows love to lead the way, not frustration or perfectionism.
Thank you for sharing your positive experience. I hope it encourages other parents and coaches to see how important it is to pause and think before yelling, reacting harshly or sending a message they might later regret. In a world that often rewards quick reactions, your story is a beautiful reminder that patience, timing and kindness are far more powerful.
Your sons are lucky to have grown up in a home where love and support came first — and it sounds like their relationship with their father is stronger because of it.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
