Dear Annie: I am a 57-year-old woman who has had many problems with my sister over the years. When my mother was alive, I would call to talk with her, but my sister often answered the phone. If she did not like the way I spoke or the tone of my voice, she would simply hang up on me.
On the day we buried my father, her children tried to pick a fight with my daughter, and my sister joined in. That was the last straw. I walked away from that side of the family and have not spoken to any of them since.
Now people keep telling me I should try to reconcile, but I do not want to. My sister continues to post things on social media that twist my words, and she even claims she has only one sister — and it is not me.
I have found peace by walking away. Do I really have to let her back into my life just because others think I should? — At Peace Without Her
Dear At Peace Without Her: You do not owe anyone a relationship that brings you pain. Family ties can be powerful, but they do not excuse cruelty, disrespect or public shaming. You have already tried, and your sister has shown you who she is.
If walking away has given you peace, then protect that peace. Others may pressure you to reconcile, but they are not the ones living with the hurt. You are. Boundaries are not selfish. Sometimes the healthiest choice is distance.
Dear Annie: Thank you for printing the recent letters about coaching. Your perspective was spot on and reminded me how much coaching has shaped my own life and family.
I spent 10 seasons as a high school volleyball coach, finishing with a record of 98 wins and 9 losses and seeing eight of my players go on to earn Division I scholarships. I stepped away at age 30, but coaching soon found me again. My daughter came home in fourth grade and announced that her school was starting a basketball team — and that I was the coach. That grew into softball as well, and those little teams never lost.
My approach was always the same: Give your best and finish satisfied. I believed my role as coach was to instill confidence, to help players believe they were capable of more than they imagined. Winning was never the real goal.
My daughter still talks about the friendships and fun she gained during those years, which is the greatest reward. Thank you again for highlighting the value of coaching done with heart. — Coaching
Dear Coaching: Your perspective was thoughtful and right on target. As someone who has coached for many years, I was reminded of the lasting impact coaches can have when the focus is on encouragement, confidence and joy rather than just winning.
I appreciate you giving space to this conversation. It matters.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
