Dear Annie: Every summer, I plan a trip. I picture my family on a peaceful beach, laughing together, toes in the sand, drinks in hand. But the reality? Total chaos.
I’m the one who books the flights, finds the rental, makes sure everyone has sunscreen, passports, snacks, chargers and swimsuits — and still gets blamed when something goes wrong. My husband complains about the cost, my teenager sulks because the Wi-Fi is slow and my youngest always seems to get sick the moment we arrive. Last year, we spent more time arguing about where to eat than actually relaxing. And don’t get me started on the airport meltdowns, delayed flights, and the endless packing and unpacking.
By the time we get home, I’m more exhausted than before we left — and I usually need a vacation to recover from the vacation.
Is there a way to make summer travel less stressful and more enjoyable? Or should I just give up the dream of the “perfect family trip” and embrace the staycation life? — Overpacked and Overwhelmed
Dear Overwhelmed: You are not alone. The dream of the picture-perfect family vacation often dissolves the minute real people with real moods, needs and opinions start moving through airports and unfamiliar hotel rooms.
It sounds like you have taken on the role of travel director, emotional manager and packing expert all at once, which leaves very little room for you to actually enjoy the trip. One of the best ways to ease travel stress is to let go of the idea that it all has to be perfect. Instead, aim for good enough and build in moments of rest just for you.
Delegate tasks. Let your teenager research one fun thing to do. Let your partner plan a meal or take the lead on logistics. Choose fewer activities with more downtime. And if things go sideways, and they probably will, take a breath, laugh when you can and remember that even the messy parts can become beloved family stories.
A vacation does not have to be flawless to be meaningful. Sometimes the memories are made in the mishaps.
“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
