(Photo Illustration - MetroCreativeConnection - Editor's Notes by Christina Myer)

I had a long conversation the other night with a friend who had decided to break ALL the rules about polite conversation. We were hitting religion and politics in a way that would definitely be avoided at Thanksgiving dinner.

But this is a person with whom — particularly if I realize my emotions are starting to take over — I can take a step back and say Hold on a minute, let’s make sure we’re talking about the same thing. What do YOU mean when you use that word? You might not mean the same thing by it as I do.

In fact, he did mean the same thing, but that little reminder let me frame more of the rest of what I was saying with logic and evidence; and admit when I was speaking from my own personal experience and perspective, which would be quite different from his.

In the end, I came away a little disappointed by a couple of revelations, but also having learned I was wrong about a few things.

AND, not feeling as though there was any change to the friendship. We might not have changed each other’s minds, but we understand each other a little better, and that’s a start.

Now, if we can just figure out how to have those conversations on a larger scale: not accusing each other of being stupid or bad, not operating under the assumption that the other was evil because we disagreed, willing to admit when a stance was based on shaky evidence or just plain incorrect … willing to understand the other might be incapable of understanding a position because of lived experience or lack thereof.

It’s harder to hate someone if you’ve put the effort into trying to understand where they’re coming from.

I wish it was easier to feel comfortable having those kinds of conversations without fear of being shut down or shut out. One conversation at a time doesn’t feel like it will create movement quickly enough to make the change we so desperately need. But we might have to give it a try, anyway.

It’s not quite small talk, but it COULD make a big difference. Still, maybe not at Thanksgiving.

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More light-hearted, but also fascinating, conversations took place in Charleston this week as part of the West Virginia Press Association’s annual media social, during which we invite lawmakers and other stakeholders to join members of the media for an evening to relax and catch up in the midst of this busy session.

It’s always a good reminder that, once they get a couple of hors d’oeuvres in them, most of them are just tired, busy human beings trying to get a job done, too. Certainly, we are always glad for the opportunity to chat with those who take the time to stop by. Thank you, folks.

Christina Myer is executive editor of The Parkersburg News and Sentinel. She can be reached via e-mail at cmyer@newsandsentinel.com