(Look Back with Bob Enoch - Photo Illustration - MetroCreativeConnection)

Tax Increase Angers Man

I was toiling along the mountain trail with a knapsack on my back when overtaken by a man on a mule. He asked where I was going, and when I replied that I had been directed to stop for the night at Hopkins’ cabin he said:

“I am jest gwine up to Tom’s place myself, and we’ll job along together. I hev to see Tom about his taxes.

“How are taxes assessed up here in the mountains?” I asked after a while.

“Oh, kinder so so.”

Nothing more was said until we reached the cabin. Mr. Hopkins was cutting firewood in the backyard and he came around and welcomed us and queried of the man with me:

“Wall, Sam, what brings you up this way?”

“Cum to see about your taxes, Tom.”

“Shoot! How are taxes this year?”

“Well, Tom, taxes is up a little, I’m sorry to say.”

“How much up?”

“Yo’ done paid $7 last year, I believe?”

“‘Bout $7.”

“And they’ve risen up to about $9 this year.”

“Shoot! Sam Davis, who riz up them taxes on me?”

“The state b’od, I reckon.”

“And where might the state b’od be at?”

“Nashville, I take it.”

“Shoot! Jest wait a minute.”

He entered the house for a moment and then reappeared with a long barreled and dropped the butt on the ground as he said:

“Sam, I ain’t going to stand no riz up in taxes! There’s no call for it. I’ve got that $7 right here in the house, but I won’t pay no more. What yo’ going to do about it?

“Won’t yo’ pay no mo’?

“Not a blamed cent.”

“And yo’ doan’ care ’bout the state b’od?”

“Not a bit!”

“And yo’ll shoot before you pay any more?”

“Sure to!”

“Well, then, I reckon I’ll take along that $7 and call it square, and if the state bo’d don’t like it, they can come after the rest. How’s Peter Small on taxes this year?”

“Pete won’t pay a cent.”

“And ole man Harper?”

“He’s waiting fur you with a gun!”

“I see. Well, I won’t bother’em, I reckon. Bring out that $7, Tom, and take a receipt, and if you have any corn juice handy I might be coaxed to wet up the roof of my mouth!”

The Parkersburg Daily State Journal,

March 23, 1896

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HE HAS A DESTINY – Mr. Thompson, Hobo, Has Wits That Are Sharp.

Monday morning is generally a busy one at police court, and this being Monday there was business doing there this morning. The most interesting case was that of George Thompson, a professional tramp whose appearance is dirty and unkept, but whose wits are sharp. George is a man of destiny. He has a destiny, because he says he has, and he believes firmly in it.

“Do you do anything for a living?” asked the Judge.

“No, sir,” replied Mr. Thompson, “I managed to get along without doing anything.”

“How would you like to do thirty days”

“You can suit yourself about that; I don’t purpose to interfere with my destiny.”

“I don’t like to send a man to the lockup this weather; will you promise to find work if I let you go?

“No, sir, I’m drifting at present; just drifting with the tide. If I happen to be around three years from now I may talk with you on the work proposition, but I can’t make any promises now. You see, about two years ago I went to a fortune teller and she told me I was going to be out of work and a kind of tramp until I reached the age of 35 years. After that, she said, fortune was going to smile and I was going to become rich, marry a beautiful woman and live happily ever after. Well, I’ve been out of work just like she said, and I don’t care about spoiling the whole thing at this stage of the game by hustling for a job.”

“That’s a new one, and I’ll cut it down to five days,” said the Judge.

And the man of destiny was led away.

The Parkersburg Daily State Journal,

Aug. 13, 1900

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Bob Enoch is president of the Wood County Historical and Preservation Society. If you have comments or questions about Look Back items, please contact him at: roberteenoch@gmail.com, or by mail at WCHPS, PO Box 565, Parkersburg, WV 26102.