(Life Through the Lens - Photo Illustration/MetroCreativeConnection)

“I love him and I hate him and I wanna kill him…and I wanna be him, you know?”

***

I know that life changes us, molds us, builds us, and levels us … but I am under the belief that some things do not change. There are pieces of us fully formed when we are born. We receive certain traits, certain qualities, certain tendencies, certain quirks, and no amount of conditioning or circumstance can change them. They are coded on our very foundation, built upon and solidified.

That is not to say that hard work and determination can’t move mountains … but some mountains are simply there to behold and embrace.

It became so clear through my children. My first son has ALWAYS been an analytical, methodical and hesitant rule-follower. He was relentless in the pursuit of knowledge and understanding. He taught himself to read out of a sheer desperation to learn! He was showered with puzzles and books and mazes. When he spoke, it was deliberate and enunciated, filled with clarity and wisdom. It was as if a tiny human was preparing to, one glorious day, do my taxes for me (and do them better than I ever could, finding every exemption while casually reading classic literature and chuckling at all the subtle jokes that elude me).

And along came the second son. Although only 19 months separate the two, they are wholly different. From moment number one of existence outside of womb-dom, number two was his own. Where once rationality reigned, madness now entered the mix. My second child was instantly a wild animal, unafraid and unfettered. He jumped when the first would have measured. He risked when the first would have reasoned. He mumbled, he grunted, he wrestled. He was sweaty all the time! He gravitated toward sports, toward the physical and the spirited. Instead of books, it was bruises. Instead of mazes, it was a melee.

My two boys have grown together. They have shared clothes, toys, food, movies, adventures, secrets, traumas, hopes and millions of moments … but they are so unlike. People are not like recipes: predictable, duplicatable and a product of their added components. Nah. People are imbued with invisible singularity. Even when the circumstances are exactly the same, they just come out different.

***

Jewish American cousins David (Jesse Eisenberg) and Benji (Kieran Culkin) are inseparable … or at least they used to be. Where once a strong, vibrant and deep relationship flowed effortlessly now resides a labored, hesitant and awkward connection. Their shared past keeps them linked, but the present and progressive distance looms and lurks underneath each uncomfortable conversation. David, now a professional and husband and father, sees Benji as a stunted and childish disappointment. Benji, a free spirit without commitment or direction, sees David as a sellout and an emotionally undeveloped droid. What better way to reconnect than to take a Jewish heritage tour through World War II concentration camps!

Much is uncovered through the emotional roller coaster that is Poland. It is clear that David has trained himself to feel almost nothing while Benji feels everything. When David sees an extermination camp, he is quietly grateful for the resiliency of past generations and the new life they provided for him. When Benji sees the same camp, he is aggressively in mourning and vocally overwhelmed at the violence endured and the apathy that now persists in the present generation. Feelings are tough!

The true beauty is the subtlety in which they envy each other. We all see in others the ways we are lacking, even in the extremes of another’s limitations. David sees freedom in Benji while Benji admires David’s reliability. Although very different, they need not be exactly alike to love and accept and invest. And then the trip is over…

Writer/director/actor Eisenberg is a complete natural in all aspects of this film. His screenplay is as tender as it is hilarious; it is casual yet exceedingly sharp. He gives all the power over to performance! His directing is delicate and decisive; he seems to encourage space and instinct. His acting is … well … it seems like the role was written for him (because it was). No one plays the nervous and empathetically immobilized character like Eisenberg!

Oscar favorite Kieran Culkin is flawless. He has developed into an effortlessly eccentric actor with bottomless depth. His energy is magnetic, and his magnetism is liberating! I am a huge fan!

The film highlights that, although much has changed, much has stayed the same.

REPORT CARD: “A Real Pain.”

Grade: A.

Assessment: A movie of immense pathos, rich and rewarding!

***

As far as life goes, Edward (Sebastian Stan) got dealt some rough cards — his neurofibromatosis has left his face dramatically disfigured. Although smart and capable, Edward is fearful of human interaction and extremely evasive in all situations. When the apartment next to his becomes vacant, Edward is surprised by a beautiful, playful and forward new neighbor named Ingrid (Renate Reinsve). She can obviously see his physical deformity … but she doesn’t seem to care!

As they begin to spend time together, Edward is smitten by Ingrid’s lack of fear and coolness in his presence – no one has ever truly been able to look past his appearance. They bond over Ingrid’s aspirations as a playwright and Edward’s ambitions in acting. Edward cannot seem to summon the strength to voice his feelings, though; his appearance stole all his confidence long ago.

When the opportunity for “experimental treatment” is presented, Edward can see no reason not to try. When the results are exponentially better than all previous hopes, Edward finds himself “a new man.” With the disfigurement no longer an issue, he reinvents himself — he becomes Guy Moratz. Guy has no social hangups, no awkward avoidance, no crippling self-doubt. He puts to rest his old self and never looks back … until Ingrid puts on her off-Broadway play titled “Edward.”

As in “Edward her old neighbor” — as in “Edward the softly kind and secretly beautiful.” Now Guy cannot escape the shadow of Edward once again.

The studio A24 has a way with horror and the unusual and the offbeat. They have again created a piece hard to describe but hard to forget. Writer/director Aaron Schimberg explores very personal and very profound issues of representation, repression and remedy. It is twisted yet poignant. The script allows the viewer to really wrestle.

Stan is a wonder as Edward; I didn’t even know it was him at first because it was so natural and immersive. His prosthetics and makeup seem to unleash him. Adam Pearson is refreshing as Oswald. Pearson, who actually has this condition, is an instant breath of fresh air and a persistent reminder of our subconscious hesitations.

The film begs our age-old question: How much can a person really change?

REPORT CARD: “A Different Man.”

Grade: B+.

Assessment: Where imagination and insecurity meet.