(Cracking the Code with Greg Kozera - Photo Illustration - MetroCreativeConnection)

A few years ago, I was doing a leadership conference for a high school in Maryland. I stated, “In high school, I rarely got turned down for date. What do you think my secret was?” They guessed everything from I had a hot car to I had a hot body.

They were surprised when I told them, “I didn’t ask, out of fear of rejection.” One young man jumped up and said, “Mr. Kozera, you don’t score on 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

Of course, he was right. I went on to tell them my fear of rejection meant I didn’t have many dates in high school. In college, I started asking for dates experiencing rejection initially. Ultimately, I found success and a fun social life. When I eventually found Lynnda, my wife of now 49 years, I overcame fear to tell her how I felt.

What I didn’t realize at the time was how rejection prepared me for my corporate work in sales. A “no” didn’t hurt me physically or emotionally. It simply meant it was time to move on to the next prospect. If I was persistent, success ultimately happened. Persisting after rejection helped me to present new ideas.

As a manager I learned how to reject a bad idea but not the person presenting it. I needed to hear their next idea because it may be the one that solved a major problem or generated millions of dollars in revenue.

Great leaders including parents need to be good listeners and communicators. They can’t be fearful of their people’s ideas if they differ from their own. Great leaders drive fear out of their organizations.

Great leaders (and parents) need to remember failure is a bump on the road to success. When a baby takes its first steps and falls on its butt, no parent scolds the child because it didn’t walk all the way across the room. Instead they pick up the baby, lovingly praise it for walking and encourage them to try again.

In my corporate life, I vividly recall a meeting with our largest customer at the time. I was invited because we were a major vendor. The customer’s senior VP chewed out a young engineer in front of the entire group for a mistake.

I knew the young engineer did exactly what he was told to do by his manager. The manager never spoke up to defend him. The VP should never have publicly reprimanded the engineer. Praise should be given publicly. Criticism should always be done privately.

It was like an old James Bond movie. The head of S.P.E.C.T.R.E. (the bad guys) wanted James Bond dead. He asked his minion what happened. She failed. The S.P.E.C.T.R.E. leader said, “You know we don’t tolerate failure.” She ended up swimming with piranhas. The customer situation wasn’t that bad and got sorted out, but the damage was done. It put fear in the company’s other young engineers and managers, who became very conservative. They quit taking risks and making suggestions for fear of failure, criticism and loss of their job. Some of the best people ultimately left.

A couple of years ago at the Plastic News Executive Conference, the top 10 best places to work were recognized. Not surprisingly these companies are also top financial performers. One VP, when receiving the award, recounted how one of his engineers took it on himself to make a $3 million decision. The engineer couldn’t reach the VP and ordered specialty parts to finish a project on time for an important customer. The solution and the part worked. The project was finished on time. The customer was thrilled.

That night, I found the VP at the fire pit and we had a drink. I asked, “What would you have done if the engineer failed?” The VP responded, “I just invested $3 million in his education. I would never have fired him. It would have been an expensive learning experience. When you give people authority, it includes permission to fail.” The VP told me his company has a waiting list of people wanting to work for them.

Coach Joe tells our high school soccer players to shoot when they have an opportunity. He gives them permission to fail. Joe understands we fail to score on 100% of the shots we don’t take. Our team scores a lot of goals.

In sales, you fail to sell to 100% of the prospects you don’t contact. The Shale Crescent USA (SCUSA) sales team at events like the National Plastics Expo and SelectUSA actively engages prospects passing by our booth. No one is shy. We talk to a lot of companies who aren’t prospects but also find companies who didn’t know about the Shale Crescent USA organization or our region that have become prospects. One of those companies from India is a serious prospect looking to expand to the SCUSA. Lynnda asked if they wanted a sticker, and it turned into a conversation. They are now a prospect looking to visit the SCUSA. We are setting up visits to our region for prospects from SelectUSA who are looking for sites.

Lynnda and I learned recently at the National Speakers Association Conference in Denver how F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real) can stop us from reaching our dreams. We can overcome fear by doing what we fear. Great leaders know using fear and intimidation does NOT bring out the best in people. I worked briefly for a company who used fear to create stress. It never improved performance.

In Denver, Sunday morning’s opening keynote speaker, Brian Bird, helped 700 people to let go of their fears and break boards with their bare hands. Great leaders help people to believe in their ability to succeed. They understand how to drive out fear and allow their people to fail, learn and move forward. In athletics, business, sales, dating and relationships, fear holds us back from being the best we can be. Overcoming fear helps us to achieve our dreams.

***

Greg Kozera, gkozera@shalecrescentusa.com, is the director of marketing for Shale Crescent USA. He is a professional engineer with a Masters in Environmental Engineering and over 40 years experience in the energy industry. Greg is a leadership expert, high school soccer coach, professional speaker and author of four books and many published articles.