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WRITER INTRO: Katie Nestor, Parkersburg South High School teacher (and several anonymous community members, professionals, and friends that contributed pieces of advice) are pleased to provide you this week's School of Thought.
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Consider this piece an ode to all those at a point of transition in life, and especially to all the seniors who will soon graduate, walk across the stage, flip their tassels and toss their caps, entering the next chapter of life.
As adults, we joke about things like "hindsight is 20/20," and "kids these days." The reality is: Once upon a time, we were those kids, clueless, preparing for "what comes next." Older and wiser now, try as we might, we can't simply talk experience into anyone so that they never have to endure troubles or hardship. However, we can provide perspective that is meaningful and thought provoking, that maybe, just maybe could be helpful in navigating the highs and lows that are sure to come as these young adults close the door on childhood and embark on the adventure that is adulthood.
When I reflect on life's various points of transition, specifically the ending of my own high school career and entrance to adulthood, these thoughts are recurring:
I wish someone had told me...
I wish I had learned how to...
I wish I had been as knowledgeable then as I thought I was.
I wish I had known then, even a fraction of the things I know now.
As it turned out, there were very few things I actually knew for sure at this point in my life, despite my exuberant confidence.
I knew I was going to college. I knew it was supposed to be harder than high school.
I knew my education was important and that I wanted to earn advanced degrees.
I knew the importance of work and had a job.
I knew I wanted to get married someday.
I knew I wanted to buy a house and not rent.
I knew I wanted to be a mom.
I knew I had goals.
What I didn't know was how quickly into adulthood I would discover how little I truly knew.
I knew where I wanted to go in life, but I was clueless on how to get there. Writing this, I am thinking back to all the advice I was given … and the advice that I wish I would have been given.
You know exactly the advice or words of wisdom I am talking about, too. The traditional, but totally devoid of feeling type of advice that is customary to give an 18-year-old. In case you've forgotten, here are some of my favorites to spark your memory:
"You can do anything you set your mind to."
"Your college professors won't care if you do your homework."
"Your friend group will change as you go different places and do different things."
While these things are kind of true, I can't help but think about how they didn't prepare, caution, warn, support, or encourage in the things that were to come or in reaching my goals. Alas, I have compiled a list of advice. This list contains real and raw advice from people of various backgrounds. While I specifically charge the Seniors of 2023 to take and follow these pieces of advice, they are words of wisdom for anyone, at any transitional point in life. After all, one thing I have learned and KNOW undoubtedly is that it is never too late to take good advice.
Without further ado, I give you:
15 Pieces of Advice You Need to Hear
1. Who you are when you graduate from high school is not who you have to be/will be forever.
2. Get a job as soon as you can, even if it is menial, or only a few hours a week. Working for your money will make you appreciate it more, and it also might make it harder to spend.
3. If you feel like college isn't for you, there is a simple solution: Don't go to college. There are plenty of ways to become successful that don't involve traditional college, and it's OK to forge your own path.
4. If you discover that you've made a wrong choice, be mindful that it is never too late to make it right or change course entirely. It doesn't matter if you realize your mistake when you're 20 years old, if it's been 30 years, or if it is a big or small choice -- just remember that it's never too late to make a change.
5. Be loyal to yourself. Have goals but be adaptable. Give your love only to those who value you.
6. Find three things that bring you the most joy and focus on those. It will be those three things that lead you to your best friends and create relationships more than just short-term acquaintances. Trying to do things just to fit in, or to fill a line on an application will only waste your time and bring you stress. If you aren't true to yourself, you won't be able to create lasting, genuine relationships.
7. Be respectful to others and demand the same in return. Take care of the people around you, whether it be personally or professionally. When you commit to something, see it through until the end, regardless of the outcome. Be accountable for your actions. It's OK to make mistakes, but try to learn from each one you make, and teach others how to not make the same ones.
8. If everyone around you is telling you that you are wrong, everyone that you love and respect, you are probably wrong. Sometimes your gut and your heart are just wrong.
9. Tell the truth. No matter the consequences. Always. Tell. The. Truth.
10. Don't wait until you're "ready." You might never be "ready," even though you were "able" all along.
11. Be kind to the elderly. You will be the elderly one day.
12. Sadly, we live in a world where stereotypes exist, and people judge. You will be judged. It is up to you to break the mold of the stereotype given to you. It's OK to be a cheerleader and love science. It's OK to love working on cars and be passionate about English. At the end of the day, it is up to you to blaze your own trail after high school and beyond.
13. Don't hold a grudge. Use that energy and time for something productive or something you find happiness in.
14. Take care of yourself. Always allow yourself the time you need to reset and recharge. Mind, Body, Soul.
15. Every decision you make matters. From the food you eat to the vices you choose; whether you work hard and save or rely on someone to care for you … One way or another, all decisions matter and will produce either consequence or reward. Appreciate both the consequences and rewards and make use of the lessons provided by both.