MOV Parent: Marriage advice from folks who have been there, done that
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Last year our daughter got married and this year my son got married. I officiated the ceremony for both of them, which was a wonderful experience.
I previously shared the advice I collected for my daughter's wedding, and now will share with you the advice that I collected for my son and his wife. I asked several people who knew this couple to share their advice and pearls of wisdom about marriage.
This was then given to them as a wedding gift.
I think its very important to hear advice from the seasoned and successful mentors who have "been there and done that." I hope you find the tips and advice below helpful in your own relationship!
* Remain steadfast in enhancing each other's God given gift by assuming the best intentions of each other.
* Consider the worth of the battle before engaging.
* Marriage is an amazing experience of ups and downs shared by you and who you chose to spend the rest of your life with. Being married 22years this year we have referred to this truth-Love Is A Decision.
* Your feelings will ebb and flow but deciding to love your spouse and give of yourself will help make your marriage stronger.
Good communication, but also biting your tongue, praying for your spouse and deciding what battles are worth getting into will make a difference through the years.
* Have fun with your spouse, laugh a lot, make memories together. Pray together and for each other, "do not go to bed mad" are all advice we try to live by.
* Surround yourself with encouraging people. Find something that you both like to do together but also be okay with doing things on your own. That always makes time then back together refreshing.
* Remember that your spouse is your life partner and your best friend! Always treat each other that way in your thoughts, words and actions.
* Remember: your spouse may not always be right, but they do always matter. "I told you so" is never really as worthwhile as "I love you so".
* Continue to date each other for the rest of your lives.
* Remember all those simple, sweet, fun, interesting things you did to get to know each other? Keep on doing those same kind of things......Always.
* Find was to slow down and just 'be' together.
* Communicate, both the speaking and the listening.
* Seek to understand your spouse's perspective and respect it.
* When you tend towards being grumpy or argumentative, check in w/ yourself for being hungry and/or tired.
* Set an evening curfew after which finances will not be discussed.
* Take lots of pictures of yourselves doing fun and adventurous activities.
* Who ever yells in a disagreement loses and the other person gets to walk away.
* It's okay to go to bed angry or upset at the other person. Who wants to stay up all night fussin' n' feuding with no resolution? Better to get a nights sleep and tackle it next morning.
* It is OK to have separate or individual interest/hobbies with friends that the other one is not interested in. I.E., golf, hunting, fishing, gardening, reading. But for sure, also have interest/hobbies that you can share together.
* Compliment the good work, habits, decisions, contribution and the looks of the other one. Say "thank you", "please", "if you don't mind". One works harder to please or do a good job if they are appreciated. Don't ever take the other one for granted.
* Always keep humor and laughter alive