(Life Through the Lens - Photo Illustration/MetroCreativeConnection)

“It is a tale/Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury/Signifying nothing.”

***

I love my King! Working, fighting, killing, generally taking care of business in his name. After this past battle, the strangest thing happened: some witchy ladies appeared and declared me Future King. I said, “Huh?” They said, “Yup.” I said, “For real, though?” They said, “Yup,” and disappeared. Like … poof.

Just because some crazies say something doesn’t make it true, right? But … that does sound pretty sweet. I could wait, position, politic, risk – maybe it will all line up, and I’ll be made king someday. Or … I could just take the throne. I was named “most likely to de-throne or go home” in high school.

I ran it by my wife; she was, surprisingly, super into it. A little too into it, honestly. “Ohh,” she yelled, “we could just kill him! That would get us there today!” “But … the king is our friend,” I said reluctantly. “Pssh, a real friend would just die already.”

The plan was made, the trap was laid, and the king received my blade. Done deal.

I know what you are thinking, and so what? What is one slightly selfish, quasi bad, some would call mistake? It is just one. From here on out, I will be a straight shooter. But DANG if this blood won’t just wash off.

Small issue: the guards need to be discarded … so I killed them. Another small issue: the king had two sons. I ran them out of town and will have to kill them if I can. Another small issue: another piece of the prophecy labeled my friend Banquo’s sons as eventual heirs … so I just had to kill my friend. I think the son was disposed of, as well … but I can only do so much! WHY WON’T THIS STINKING BLOOD WASH OFF ALREADY!

Another small issue: everywhere I look I am haunted and plagued. Is it normal to see ghosts and periodically lose touch with reality? Maybe I’m just hungry. Another small issue: those dumb witches say the reign will still be taken from me and something about fearing someone “not born of a woman.” Another small issue: I thought it wise to wipe out some families … you know … create some distance. No kids means no competition.

Another small issue: the very trees are approaching and calling for my demise. Another small issue: apparently my wife had a brewing conscience and has chucked herself down the stairs. IS IT JUST ME OR DOES BLOOD NEVER COME OFF! Another small issue: go figure — you kill a man’s whole family, and he is bound to take it the wrong way. “Sorry, bro,” I offer half heartedly. “Apology rejected,” he retorts. I say with all confidence, “I hate to break it to you, but I’ve been assured that I can only fall to someone not born of a woman … and that makes no stinking sense. Tough luck, bucko.”

This dude, with the eeriest smile beginning to spread over his face, “I was born by C section, fool!”

Final issue: I am dead. Turns out, one bad decision often begs for another. One selfish and realized step tends to beget another. The only way to keep your murderous head afloat is to stay the bloody course. BEWARE THE INITIAL EVIL!

The Tragedy of Macbeth, directed and adapted by Joel Coen, is a modern masterpiece! My simple words here will not do it justice – it is visual euphoria. Coen, who is working for the first time without his partner brother, had a vision: Shakespeare meets German Expressionism. The end result is something truly breathtaking. Coen has, once again, proven that his imagination is unmatched and his execution is unparalleled.

Art director Jason T. Clark revels in this dreamscape. Production designer Stefan Dechant brings to life something indescribable yet simply poetic. Cinematographer Bruno Burwell captures, in black and white, each set piece and each actor with grace and power. Costume designer Mary Zophres creates beautiful texture and stunning details. When each participant is so hyper focused on a shared revelation, the final product is utter perfection.

Denzel Washington as Macbeth is the universe offering an audible “Duh!” He embodies Macbeth with gusto and gravity, sincerity and supremacy. Frances McDormand is an exceptional Lady Macbeth, full of passion and woe. Alex Hassell was consistently strong as Ross. Corey Hawkins was heartbreaking as Macduff. Kathryn Hunter was an absolute force as the witches; her unearthly energy was haunting and hard to shake.

Know this: the film uses the Shakespearean verse. It is not an easy watch – like all good things, it requires commitment and work. You will be much better for it! The Tragedy of Macbeth can be streamed right now on Apple TV+.

REPORT CARD: “The Tragedy of Macbeth.”

Grade: A+ — An unforgettable offering of poetry in motion

***

Spider-Man (Tom Holland) has been unmasked. Peter Parker’s face is plastered on every screen and every publication … his private life is over.

Parker tries to do his typical routine but even walking into school is proving impossible. The entire world is split: you either support/love him or you despise/threaten him. How can you blend in when everyone sees you, everyone talks about you? Without a mask, where do you hide?

… then things get dumb …

Parker, because of the current press, is rejected from MIT. His friends, because of their affiliation, are rejected from MIT. The three friends are totally dejected … because MIT is supposed to be easy to get into? Parker runs his snotty nose to Dr. Strange to complain and beg for a change in the fabric of the universe … because a highly exclusive technical university won’t accept an entire friend group!? “Mr. Dr., can you please erase my secret identity from the memories of eight billion people for me? Please?” For some reason Dr. Strange agrees to this teenager’s decision on a whim … but Parker talked during the spell? And it went wrong? And now there are a bunch of random people running around from other dimensions? I can’t make this stuff up!

The evil dudes can be transported back to their dimensions by magic, but they have to be tracked and tagged first. In a moment of randomness, Parker decides that a true Spider-Man move would be to cure the evil surrounding him … by giving them a goodness shot? Even though, when they return, they will just die anyway?

Parker’s lesson is Shakespearean: beware the initial evil! One bad decision often begs for another.

OK, so I have major issues with the movie’s plot. Say what you will about nostalgia and MCU’s breadth, this script is a 9 year old’s rough draft. It has more holes than a spaghetti strainer. It is apparent that the intention was to get a bunch of old characters in one movie “Oh, I know,” shouts the intern’s cousin from the janitor’s closet. “We can have random words be placed in a spell with random repercussions!” “Give that boy a raise!” retorts the CEO. Writers Chris McKenna and Erik Sommers should be fired, but I assume they got a big raise.

On a positive note, Tom Holland does a decent job. He isn’t my favorite Spider-Man, but he could be worse *coughTobeyMaguirecough*. Andrew Garfield, also as Spider-Man, brings some magnetism. Willem Dafoe, as Norman Osborn, acts his heart out. As for director Jon Watts … he was fine. He got lost in the mix.

My big question is: where does the MCU go after this? If time can be bent, where is the risk? If desire can be swayed by a simple spell, where is the drama? If an infinite amount of Spider-Men can be summoned, where is the danger? If there is a “cure” for evil, where is the sting? To me, No Way Home may have wrecked all that follows.

REPORT CARD: “Spider-Man: No Way Home.” Grade: C- — “Marvel Unleashed” (more like Uncontrolled)