Life Through the Lens: Picking up the pieces after tragedy
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"Lift your head and fight for yourself, for God's sakes!"
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Every time I mention my wife and I have had five homebirths, I get the strangest silence. It takes the opposing human brain a few seconds to hear, catalogue, and respond with: "Oh...that's cool."
Now, the modern brain only has so many "boxes." When the word "homebirth" is uttered, it is hesitantly put in the box with "horse-drawn carriages," "bonnets," and "fetch me some water from the well, Amos, and boil it. I'm fixin' to take me a warsh." Believe me, that box is a scary place to find yourself.
I am then usually met with questions like: "Are you Amish?" and "What about the pain?" and simply "Why?" and occasionally "Would you like a refill?" when I'm interrupted by a waitress.
Let me go ahead and pre-emptively answer those question.
Q: Are we Amish?
A: Not quite…while I am a huge fan and pursuer of the simple life.
Q: What about the pain?
A: Thanks for asking...I felt fine. Incredible even! My wife, on the other hand, did find herself in...discomfort. Maybe "discomfort" is an unfair choice of words. Let's try "unbearable" and "savage" instead. This, however, was pain intentionally entered into and embraced for its otherworldly outcome. It has proven to be a truly cathartic experience for all involved: the agony strips my wife bare and leaves only the instincts born deep inside of her. In those moments, she is connected to all women throughout time -- she is in touch with every mother who has ever birthed -- she is in tune with her baby like never before.
As a father watching this happen, I am ALWAYS astounded at the strength and ALWAYS slightly freaked out because it is unsettling and extreme. I am ALWAYS inspired and ALWAYS nervous.
Q: Why?
A: When we first heard we were pregnant, homebirth was not even a thought in our shared-mind. Once the option presented itself, though, it became clear that it was speaking our language. It would allow us to be where we were comfortable, in our safe space; it would allow us to go at our own pace; it would place the importance on Mommy and baby and remove any and all corporate motives; it would accept the pain and encourage the process.
Having seen it done five times, having transported to the hospital twice (in varying degrees of "emergency"), having experienced the rush of happiness and the lingering of fear, having held my wife in complete exhaustion and my newborns in new-helplessness...I know it isn't for everyone. With resolution, it is perfect for us!
Q: Would you like a refill?
A: Yes, please. Can I get it with no ice, though?
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"Pieces of a Woman" begins with an EPIC 24-minute continuous shot of a homebirth. Martha (Vanessa Kirby) and her partner Sean (Shia LaBeouf) have decided to birth their baby at home on their own terms. What begins with "it might be time" quickly becomes "OH MY LORD! GET THIS THING OUT OF ME!"...which is pretty true-to-life. Like all great long takes, it immerses you and refuses to let you resurface. You will find yourself quickly uncomfortable but unable to look away.
As Martha rides her contractions, Sean calls the midwife but is informed that she is unable to attend the birth. In her absence she is sending a replacement, Eva (Molly Parker). Once Eva arrives, it is go-time! Although not familiar with the couple, she is more than familiar with the circumstance; she jumps in and guides Martha and Sean through labor and toward birth!
With the moment quickly approaching, Eva notes a distress in the baby's heartbeat but decides to continue. Martha is doing great -- Sean is supporting wonderfully -- the baby is on its way...but the heartbeat is still off. A call is placed to 911 but the labor continues.
The baby is born, tears of joy showering the little girl. Her mother and father are overwhelmed by the instantaneous world-shift that happens at birth. Celebrations are in order...but something is wrong! The baby's color is turning blue. Before anything can be done, the baby dies.
The movie then attempts to show life after disaster. How can a woman pick up the pieces? How can a man grieve the loss of something he never quite had? How can a family support when the family is not granted access?
The direction of Kornel Mundrucz is at times breathtaking and at other times a bit detached. His vision comes through clearly in the beginning - with the help of cinematographer Benjamin Loeb, the opening scene is truly a masterpiece. I wouldn't call it 100 percent accurate...but dang if it isn't close! My favorite of his contributions is his ability to remain, to stay long after most directors would move on. There are some beautiful moments BETWEEN the action.
The movie is a superb showcase of acting. Although her performance is dark and full of shadows (both seen and unseen), Vanessa Kirby absolutely shines! Her vulnerability is scary...scary good, that is. Shia LaBeouf is magnificent: "the father" is a tough role to play in a story of childbirth. All it takes for a father's heart to be stolen is one glimpse of his child…which is all he gets. Ellen Burstyn is great as Martha's mother. Grief is a difficult thing to attempt to share -- her attempt is tragic.
The movie's "pieces" never quite come together perfectly...but its pieces are quite a treat!
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REPORT CARD: Pieces of a Woman
Grade: A-
Comment: The performances are a triumph