Letter to the Editor: Being alone
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My husband, Charlie, just got released from the hospital after 3 days of being miserable. Monday we went to the emergency room instead of going to our primary care physician and the cardiologist. That way they could do any tests at the same time. Fluid had built up in his legs. Then it started to go other places including his lungs making it difficult to breathe.
After I left him there, I was home all alone. In over 55 years I think there was only one time we were ever apart except when one of us had to be in the hospital. I tried to pretend he was just in the other room taking a nap but that only helped for a while. I always figured because of my severe scoliosis I would be the one to "go" first. It hit me, "What if he gets worse? What if he never comes home?" I had to stop thinking that way so I shook it off and did some housework. By that time it was the middle of the night and all was quiet. Then I started worrying about things we see in all those cop shows we watch. No, I couldn't let myself think that way either.
I have several single friends who live alone. I seldom really stop to think what it all means. For instance, the giant spider that ran across the living room floor. I, alone, was responsible for getting rid of it. It was trash night. Charlie wasn't there to carry it out. I carried it out a little at a time and a helpful neighbor offered to take the can to the curb for me. The bank statement came in the mail. This could wait until Charlie came home to go on the computer and check it out. The list goes on, as you probably know. The next day I talked with a friend who was waiting for the plumber to take care of a problem for her. Another friend drove a neighbor to a doctor's appointment. A third friend was planning to take an elderly friend out of town for urgent surgery.
Charlie is home now and recovering with the help of oxygen. I am so thankful to have him back with me. That doesn't change things for my single friends. They still deal with all the ups and downs, all the work and choices they have to take care of alone. I have listened when they have told me things they have had to deal with. This week I had a teeny, tiny taste of what they live with every day. I really admire them for how they can do for themselves. Do you have people in your life who live alone? Are you one of the many who are strong and independent, facing whatever life brings? We all could use a friend or loved one beside us when times get tough. Even the ones who seem to have it all together and usually try to help others can find a sympathetic ear comforting. It wasn't really a surprise that my loved ones and friends were there for Charlie and me. We didn't even have to ask.
Bonita (Bonnie) Eaton
Vienna