Letters to the editor

Letter to the Editor: Saying good-bye

A few days ago a dear friend of mine passed away. She was suffering from Alzheimer's. I decided to write a letter to send along with a sympathy card to her daughter and her family. This is what it was about.

I met M several years ago through her cousin by marriage. He started bringing her to our house sometimes for our weekly game days. My husband, Charlie, the two of them, and myself played board games, ate supper, and played more games. She always said she liked my cooking. As time went on she came more often. We got along quite well.

When I was feeling down one day about getting old, I wrote a letter to let it out. I let her read it. She suggested I send it to the newspaper. Here it is over three years and about 30 letters later. You have printed all except the one I felt was more of an advertisement.

Each time another letter of mine was in the newspaper she would go over it carefully discussing why she liked this part or that. We would also talk about our faith in God because sometimes I mention things in my letters about that. She and I seemed to agree on most things and had similar beliefs. When she started to lose her memory, she still liked to talk with me if the guys were doing something else for a few minutes. I've missed those talks with my friend.

I sent a few cards and letters to her after she was moved to an assisted living facility. I put my phone number inside. She called me a few times. Sometimes it was to pass a message to someone else.

Not long ago, the three of us signed her out and took her to a restaurant for supper. I walked her back in. As I started to leave she asked why she couldn't go with me and why was I leaving her there. It broke my heart. I decided right then I could not walk her back in if she ever went with us again. Her cousin told me an hour from then she wouldn't even remember we had been there. At least we brightened her day for a few minutes.

I could tell you more but I'll close by saying, I know she is in a better place. She was a retired minister and worked for God and now she is reaping the benefits. She is no longer lonely, forgetful, or confused. Knowing that should comfort me but I'll still miss my friend.

Do you know someone who has Alzheimer's or dementia? It is difficult to know what is best sometimes. Remember the good times you shared with them. They may not be as they were before but they still should be treated with compassion and love. Don't wait to visit with them because one day they will be gone like my friend. You will not have any regrets. Remember the good times.

Bonita (Bonnie) Eaton

Vienna