Letter to the Editor: Entertaining
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People don't entertain any more like they used to. Family or friends were invited on a specific day and time. The hostess would make sure the refreshments or the meal would be right for the type of gathering. The host might plan entertainment whether it be music, conversation, or games. These days visiting is usually more spontaneous and relaxed.
I grew up in the 50s and 60s. My mother didn't do housekeeping and entertain in her high heels and pearls but she and Daddy had best friends they got together with on a regular basis. They went out for music, picnics, and swimming at the lake together. They also stayed in and entertained together. Anyone could tell all 4 of them were comfortable with each other. I always liked knowing they had best friends to do things with.
After I got married we moved away for 2 years because of my husband's job. Then we came back home and bought a place only a few blocks from my parents. Over 50 years later we still live in the same house and my sister and brother-in-law live where we grew up. Our children's friends were always welcome to come over or stay the night. Now with our children 46 and 51 it is our grandchildren who know they are always welcome to come play or stay over. Sometimes we cook, sew, make jewelry, and play board games together. Since I quit working outside the home neighborhood children like to come make things or just play, also. Some of those children are in their 20s now. As I get older I sometimes wonder if they will always remember the fun we had together. Whether they do or not, I remember and they enjoyed it back then.
Talking about remembering or memories, I used to invite my mom and her friends for ladies lunches. I would decorate my living room and dining room all up with nice flowers, candles, and such. I would treat them special, serving all kinds of food for them to choose from on pretty serving dishes. Girls I went to school with were invited other times and treated the same. One of them told me, "Bonnie, we'd be happy with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches." I told her, "I know but we are going to do this right." Since then 3 of the 6 have passed away of cancer. I've invited friends I know from different areas of my life to meet each other. Some of the ladies sing in bands we hear when we go dancing, some met me at the local craft or sewing supply stores, the old neighborhood, church, and work. I enjoy them all.
I had decided to sell many of my pretty entertaining dishes and not to entertain any more when I discovered they are not worth selling. People just don't want to go to the bother of entertaining in such a way as to make each guest feel they are the most special and treasured friend anyone could hope for. Don't get me wrong, there is a lot to be said for relaxed entertaining. My sister opens up her home to company in such a way that you feel it is your home too. You can be comfortable, take your shoes off and enjoy being with her. She doesn't stress 2 days in advance that everything's in its place with a post-a-note on it saying what each dish is to hold. When it comes down to it most of the time I wish I could be more like her. Just once in a while I like to do a little extra.
Last Saturday I treated my 3 granddaughters ages 4, 9, and 11, a neighbor girl, age 6, and her mother to a tea/lunch using glass and crystal serving dishes. They dressed up. Some of them wore gloves, one wore a crown. They all looked and felt very special. Guess I'll keep my entertaining glassware for now. When I'm gone my children can get rid of it unless I have sparked a desire in one of my granddaughters to want it so she can become an old fashioned hostess who likes to go the extra mile for her company.
What's your style of entertaining?
Bonnie Eaton
Vienna