(Cracking the Code with Greg Kozera - Photo Illustration - MetroCreativeConnection)

Lynnda and I enjoyed a second honeymoon this week in Florida at Disney World. We had a special dinner and viewed the Magic Kingdom fireworks from the top of the Contemporary Resort Hotel. Time flies. It doesn’t seem like we have been married 50 years this month. I asked Lynnda if she expected to make it to 50 years. Her answer was the same as mine. The only question was, would we still be alive. We both had bouts with cancer. Lynnda was in a serious car accident and broke her neck. From the beginning both of us intended to keep our vows, “Until death do we part.” We weren’t going to “try” to stay together. In Star Wars, Yoda says, “Do or do not. There is no try.” We were committed to making it work. Most importantly, God was part of our marriage from the beginning.

It has not been happily ever after from the beginning. We faced challenges like every marriage has. We had to learn to communicate. Growing up I had five brothers and no sisters. I had a lot to learn about women. It took awhile for me to learn. Sometimes Lynnda just needed someone to talk to and not to fix her problems or suggest solutions. We had disagreements but I don’t recall any violent arguments or shouting matches. I learned a long time ago from watching others, there is never a winner in an argument and no communication in shouting matches. At work occasionally I had to deal with people at work who looked at things differently than me. When things deteriorated to shouting it was time to end the discussion and regroup after we both calmed down. In marriage there was no reason to ever shout.

Last weekend our daughter, Dannielle ran a 50-Mile Ultra. Dannielle and I have run almost 50 half-marthons together. She has run many half and full marathons on her own. One of Dannielle’s dreams was to run an Ultra. Dannielle believed she could do it. Once the decision was made and she believed she could succeed, Dannielle developed a training plan and then did the work. The training was intense with 20+ mile training runs. When race day came she was ready. It was hot and humid. Even with the training the race was difficult. She never gave up. Dannielle told us, “The last 15 miles were pure will.” She finished with a pace just over 14 minutes per mile for the 50 miles and was in the middle of the pack. Dannielle had set a challenging goal, did the work and achieved her dream of finishing a 50-mile race.

Whether running 50 miles, being married for 50 years, winning a State Championship, bringing jobs to the region or any challenging dream you have, the process is the same. We need to have a dream if we expect to make a dream come true. A person without a dream is like a ship without a rudder floating aimlessly without a destination going where the wind and the waves take it.

Lynnda and I were at our niece’s graduation party in Pittsburgh on Saturday. Other than my brothers I hadn’t seen most of the other people for years. Several of our friends had retired. When I asked what they were doing they said, “Nothing. I really hadn’t prepared for retirement.” They were fine financially but never considered what they would do with all of their free time once they stopped working. Dreams give us purpose. A reason to live. Exciting dreams help get us out of bed in the morning.

Young people with their lives ahead of them tend to have a lot of dreams. They may have a dream house, a dream car, a dream of finding the love of their life or any number of other dreams. Older people may find it difficult to look ahead. They may have already accomplished many life goals or maybe have failed to achieve many of their dreams and have given up. They may have never heard about success principles or met Zig Ziglar, who said, “We can have anything we want, if we FIRST help enough other people get what they want.”

People of all ages need to have a dream, a worthy goal or an ideal. It can be as simple as babysitting grandchildren and sharing wisdom. We all learn from our successes and failures. Older experienced people have wisdom they can share to make others’ lives better. The late radio host, author and professional speaker, Earl Nightingale defined success as, “The progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal.” Anyone working toward a worthy goal or ideal is successful. This means DOING something, not just talking or wishing for success. Everyone is capable of success. We must find our worthy goal or ideal. All of us have gifts or experiences we can share with others.

The success formula is the same for Dannielle’s 50 mile Ultra dream, Lynnnda’s and my dream of being together over 50 years, my high school boys’ soccer team’s dream of winning a Championship or Shale Crescent’s USA’s dream of helping to bring high wage jobs back to West Virginia, Pennsylvania and Ohio. Start with a high dream who’s achievement excites you. Something you want so bad you will do whatever work it takes to achieve it.

Build belief. You can achieve your dream by hanging around successful, positive people who will support and encourage you. Avoid the naysayers who don’t have a record of success. Put together a plan on how you intend to achieve your dream. Then do the work. This can be physical work like training. Itt can be educational like learning the skills required to achieve your dream. You will face struggles, setbacks, maybe failure. Remember you don’t ultimately fail unless you quit. Fifty years or 50 miles, different dreams but the same process you can use to achieve your dreams. Thoughts to ponder.

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Greg Kozera, gkozera@shalecrescentusa.com, is the director of marketing for Shale Crescent USA. He is a professional engineer with a Masters in Environmental Engineering and over 40 years of experience in the energy industry. He is a leadership expert, high school soccer coach, professional speaker, author of four books and many published articles.