Son slow to repay parents

Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: My 25-year-old son, “Jay,” would like to come home for Christmas. I’m paying, so I made his reservation yesterday. Late last night, he told my husband he needs to go back two days early because of work. This change will cost around $150 more than the $215 I’m already paying.

Although my son earns a six-figure salary, he is unable to pay his student/parent loan on time each month. When he’s late, I get harassing emails and phone calls. The loan is in my name because Jay blew all the $60,000 he got from a settlement, and he begged me to do this for him so he could graduate.

My husband and I are retired, but we both work part-time. Jay AND his sister are reluctant to pay for their tickets when they want to see us. They each live an hour plane ride away. They always seem to have enough money to travel and do what they want to do. I am so upset, I’d like to cancel the holidays because I feel we are being taken advantage of. What do you think? — NAUGHTY, NOT NICE

DEAR N.N.N.: I think that rather than cancel the holidays, you and your husband should use the visit to inform your 25-year-old son that it’s time to grow up and pay his bills. Because he now has a six-figure income — thanks to your generosity — he should assume responsibility for his student loan debt and pay it on time. And if he doesn’t, consider reviewing your estate plan and subtracting what he owes you.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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