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Don't trust a 5-year-old
June 9, 2008 - Jody Murphy
Greetings from the Outer Banks!
The accompanying photo is evidence from my first day at the beach. And, according to my mother, my punishment for skipping church.
My oldest, 5, was dying to go to the beach. Most everyone else was at church. I was at the house with the three kids and my brother-in-law.
After putting the two little ones down for a nap the 5-year-old and I headed to the beach.
My mistake was trusting the 5-year-old to sucessfully and accurately apply sunscreen to my back.
You can the see the end results in the picture.
Notice the small hand print in the lower right-hand section of my burned back.
To be fair, after my wife showed up to the beach I asked her if I was burned anywhere.
"No," she said. "I don't see anything."
I've been reminding her of that for the last 16 hours or so.
I told her I thought I had - despite the ravages of 10 years of marriage, three kids and excessive visits to the Olive Garden - retained my looks; what with all the glances I was catching at the beach from the ladies. Turns out they were just noticing my burn and what appears to be a half-baked attempt by a semi-drunken, slightly-overweight white guy to slather his back with 50 SPF!
The lesson in this: Never trust a 5-year-old to apply sunscreen to your back.
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The evidence. Note the outline of the hand print in the lower right hand section of my back.